silly? i juz luv him too much..

knowin tat tere's no way bk.. he's nt comin bk anymore.. but i still hopin.. hope tat he cld turn ard n look at me.. n return to me.. but wat im doin nw is juz dreamin 4 tat 2 happened.. whenever i c him, he's like so near yet so far.. nthing can b done.. but hope again.. guess me is really misery tiny soul.. cant lift my head up ba.. dunno y..

still me is tinkin of him, worryin abt him, concern abt him.. but is he doin so? i dun tink so ba.. he nv msg me nv call etc.. thing juz stopped.. all of a sudden.. juz so uneasy.. juz so weird.. juz so hurting.. juz so miserable.. his mum n sis keep askin me 2 cheer up askin me to find a better man.. but i juz cant.. everyone tink i gt no wrong.. but i tink i do.. when im given the chance i nv mk full use of it.. to filful wat i promise him n relief him frm the pressure he gt.. i did none of the above.. ppl has been tokin non stop abt us.. i noe abt it but i nv really wanna mind.. but i nv expect him to mind so much.. o mayb i expected him to but i nv do anything.. ppl has been sayin tat y he's wif me, due to wat, due to money o wat.. they'r nt compatible.. they'r so diff.. they'r like 2 diff world of ppl.. n yes it's true.. but i thought by lovin each other deeply we'l overcum it.. but we nv.. he's under this pressure too much le.. too much til he wanna break free.. so if i were to resolve this prob it cld be better.. he once said by mkin myself pretty is nt onli benefit our relation at the same time benefit me.. but i nv practice wat i promise him to.. so if i had wk harder to slim dwn, to cut down the tongue wigglin.. mayb we wont hv parted.. myb other party wont hv got in.. but it's too late.. i'l always rem him tellin me tat it's too late when we confront each other.. the xpression on his face is full of disappointment full of unbearable... even he say he still luv me so bt sometin in him mk him move away.. tink is the pressure ba..

so tel me.. aint me in the wrong too.. im in the wrong 4 nt understandin him.. in the wrong 4 nt sparing another thought 4 him.. in the wrong of nt able to lighten his pressure.. in the wrong of being too selfish.. so cant blame him totally.. he's nw livin hapily then let him be.. dun mk his life difficult anymore..

my life wont b tat easy i guess.. still in misery but i dun wish to show to anyone esp him.. i need tons n tons of time, tons n tons of tear to move on.. everyday i hv been cryin even til nw.. while writting my tear juz flow.. the hurt is there n still feelin pain.. i told myself many time tat he's happy wif e ger nw y u still care abt him cry 4 him.. coz he nv know.. but i cant find an ans.. i juz know i still luv him so.. still luv him like the past still wan him bk still hopin.. but i noe i cant get any o force any.. so i took it all dwn my soul deep into my heart.. feelin tired.. but i cant slp.. wanna juz cry til i cant feel any pain but it seem like nv ending.. pain is unbearable.. totally...